The “10 Commandments” of Marriage

The following is a summary from a Chabad.org Video – Jewish TV lecture by Rabbi Aaron L. Raskin. To view the video yourself, please click here. Rabbi Raskin is from Chabad of Brooklyn Heights.

By practicing the following, your marriage is certain to flourish. Try it for yourself and see!

1.       Compromise.

  • Always meet halfway.

2.       Fuel the fire of love.

  • Do the “little things” to stoke the fire.

i.      Buy her flowers once a week.

ii.      Go out to a restaurant once a month.

iii.      Go on a (minimum) 2-3 day trip once every 3 months without the kids.

3.       Respect.

  • Do not verbally abuse her.
  • Honor your wife and become rich.
  • Keep in mind that tears flow easily from a woman, which brings G-d’s wrath.

4.       Remember that no one is perfect.

  • Perfection has not existed since the creation of the original humans in Gan Eden by Adam and Eve.

5.       The 2 most important words in a marriage are: “Yes Dear”.

6.       The next 2 most important words in a marriage are: ”Go Daven”.

7.       The first thing you see when you come into a Jewish home should be a holy book.

  • The Torah equals peace.
  • If you want peace in the home, Torah must be practiced in the home.
  • The husband and the wife are supposed to study Torah together. This will bring peace.
  • Two key questions you must ask yourself:

i.      Is there peace in the marriage?

ii.      Are you getting along well?

  • If the answer is no, then ask the following of yourself:
  1. Did you marry under the Chuppah?
  2. Were the 7 blessings bestowed upon you?

8.       The wife sets the tone of the household.

  • Peace in the home is under the control of the wife.
  • The wife controls the home.

9.       Glorify your G-d.

  • How do you bring G-d into the marriage?

i.      Successful marriages observe the laws of family purity.

  • Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

i.      The mikveh is the greatest advocate for a happy marriage.

ii.      The reason for the separation is to strengthen the love.

  • G-d gave the laws of the mikveh so the wife will be loved by the husband.

10.   Know who is the “head” and who is the “neck”.

  • Wherever the neck turns, the head follows.

Christopher Gould – President

Gould Design, Inc.